Open Question: Am I going crazy…or am I right?
Posted on 10. Mar, 2010 by Yahoo! Answers: Search for in Hot, Inane, Internet, Web, fcukin
My boyfriend & I have been dating for a little over 6 years. We have been living together for almost 3 & a half years. I thought we would be engaged if not married by now when we first moved in together. We bought a house together 5 months ago. We have a ring picked out. There is $50 left on it he says its better that the jeweler keeps it till he's ready its safe there. But still makes comments about "marriage is stupid its just a piece of paper." "Why would I get married when I have everything I want it won't change anything" etc. I told him on Saturday he will "miss me when I'm gone" we got in a bit of a fight about, he said if I leave don't come back. I promise I wouldn't be coming back!! I told him everyone told me he wouldn't respect me marry me unless he seen what he had. I haven't worn my promise ring (that I wore for over 5 years from him since our anniversary. So needless to say I didn't tell him but I picked a date. If he doesn't propose by my date. I'm cutting my loses & leaving! I keep telling myself I'm going to do it! It seems like so much has happened in the last 8 months I kept making excuses to myself why he hasn't asked. (motorcycle wreck, bought a house, he got laid off, I worked 2 full time jobs, the death of his father, speeding ticket where he is going to lose his license.) I'm always there to pick up the pieces. I thought that would make him want to be with me more. I know marriage isn't going to "fix" everything in the world but for me it seems like its the next step. My mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer when she was in her very early 30's my parents wanted 6 kids. Only ended up with 2. I have already had abnormal cells in my paps test. I'm so scared to turn into my mother before I even have any kids. My mom tells me all the time her biggest regret was not marrying my dad when he asked the first time. They would have had more time to have kids. I'm 22. Now I want to be married & have a baby before the age of 25. Thats only 3 & a half years away. Am I crazy for wanting all this or am I right? I told my boyfriend I want to take the next step but not really why.... He isn't sure if he wants kids some days he does some days he doesn't. I feel like the next couple months if not weeks are going to change alot....I'm scared but I feel like I need to look out for myself!! I love him with all my heart. I'm scared to be with out. But I don't want to miss out on what I have wanted since I was a little girl. Any advice. I'm really looking for something to make me think I'm doing the right thing and/or where to go next? I do believe he is scared to have kids since his father did pass away. & when he was a kid his father was working non stop so his mom didn't have to. He missed out on so much with his dad. I don't know if he knows how to be a dad.....but if he had a baby in his arms or got to watch my belly move & grow it would be different. I know we aren't ready now. But thats what being engaged, getting married etc builds up to I told him I shouldn't have to ask/nag about being proposed to. I want him to want to marry me. I try not to talk about it with anyone hoping that time will take its course things will happen when they happen. Its just so hard to walk into a room with family/friends, & the first thing they do is check my hand. Or ask when are you getting that ring. I told him I'm going to hurt some one the first time some one says finally & not congrats. He did find a new job he was laid off for about 2 months. He is working very hard at that job. A ton of hours. We saved a ton of money to put down on his house. If I did leave he could afford the mortgage himself. We were sick of apartments, bought the house closer to the job he got laid off from. After they promised him a supervisor position. I thought a house would be 1 more step closer to us being married etc. Other then the feelings I'm having right now. We have a very good relationship. My friends say they want to clone him. But I just want more... I told my mom & his mom I'm sick of being the brides maid to girls that have been dating their boyfriends half the time we have.